Most of you know by now the reason why I went out to Utah for the month of August. It's because Jessica was due to have a baby on August 20th. Nicolas Mason thankfully decided to come a day earlier, mostly thanks to the things we made Jessica do to induce labor. In the end the Castro oil did the trick! This was a long and difficult pregnancy for Jess. When she found out she was pregnant (around Christmas last year) of course adoption came into her thoughts. From the start, Clay and I told Jess that this was her decision. The last thing we wanted to happen was for Jess to come to us years later and say that she felt like she had to have the baby or opposite, she had to keep the baby. We made it clear to her that if she was to keep this baby, we would be there to support her 100%! But, if she wanted to place the baby we would give her our equal support. Early on, she choose adoption and we started seeing a social worker at LDS Family Services. Stephanie Sparks was her assigned social worker for her case and little did we know what a big part she would play in this whole process! After a few months Jess started questioning her decision to place the baby, so she stopped seeing Stephanie and took the time she needed to decide what was the best option for her was. It took Jess most of the summer to finally decide what was going to be the best thing for both her and the baby was. She explained it too me this way. When she started thinking about keeping the baby she actually got more stressed out and that is when she started not being able to sleep. When she considered placing the baby is when she felt most at peace. I'm so thankful during this entire process Jessica was able to listen and feel the spirit and in the end that is what helped her in making this most hard decision! After making the decision final in her mind came another hard decision for her, who to place her child with. She was given so many choices through LDS Services and through friends and family. I came to understand just how heartbreaking it is on both sides of adoption. There are so many amazing and worthy families that are desperate to adopt a child right now. It really was sad for me to see the profiles and know that only one family would be picked, the rest would have to wait for another birth mother to hopefully pick them. Jessica narrowed it down to two families in the end, but felt really strongly about one in particular. She finally met with Nick and Erin for the first time only 5 weeks before Mason was born. Instantly, Jessica knew that the baby she was carrying was met for them! After another week she sent them a email telling them that she had chosen them to be her baby's parents. That is when I arrived in Utah. After only being in Utah a few days I was able to meet this incredible couple for myself. Just like Jess did, I knew after only a few minutes with them that they were the perfect couple for Jess's baby! We were able to see them again a few nights later at dinner and had a great night sharing stories of our lives and getting to know each other better. Jess told Nick and Erin that she would like them to choose the name of the baby and they choose Nicholas Mason (he is called Mason). He is named after Nick's best friend who passed away a few years ago.
Mason came into this world on August 19th 2011 at 4:55 pm. Weighing 6 pounds 14 oz and was 19 inches long.
After his birth I was able to bring him down to the nursery where I met Nick and Erin and they were able to see him get his first bath. What a bittersweet experience that was for me. I have to admit my heart was breaking for what I knew Jessica must be feeling at that moment and what she would feel in the days to come, but also I was so happy for Nick and Erin. You could see how happy they were to be watching their first son get his first bath. Very bittersweet!
Jessica never seemed to amaze me during her hospital stay. This was her time with Mason and she took every minute she had with him. I was struggling with the whole thing and Jess was the one to reassuring me that what she was doing was the right choice. I knew it was the right choice, my heart was just breaking thinking about it. The day of the placement came and I can only say that it was the most beautiful and spiritual experience I have been a part of. I'm so thankful for my testimony in my savior. It's because of Him I know that we will be a part of Mason's life for eternity. We couldn't of gotten through this whole thing with out His sweet spirit to comfort us when our hearts were broken and hurting. I can't tell you how grateful I am for our Church and that they set up the LDS family services! It's truely amazing! I'm so grateful to all the amazing mothers out there that made this painful decision to place their babies and grateful to the families that open up their hearts and are willing to take them!
The day after the placement Jess and I were able to go and visit Mason with his parents. Because Nick is a professional photographer Jess was able to get these sweet pictures of her with Mason taken before we headed back to Australia.
This was sent to Jessica just yesterday. Mason is almost a month old now and you can see from these pictures he is getting chunky and if possible even more cutter than he was before!
We love you Mason!
6 comments:
I had no idea Steph...i am so glad she was able to make a decision she is at peace with. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. Believe me, I've tried to imagine it...i was adopted as a baby...as were all of my siblings. I don't know my birth mother, but we know my brother's and she is a wonderful person. I am so grateful for the blessing adoption had played in my life and hope that Jess will continue to feel the peace in knowing that she made the best decision for her son.
Oh, Steph! I have tears streaming down my cheeks... Love you both. Thank you for sharing your story. Hope all is well in Australia. I am so glad we ran into each other a few times while you were in town. Luv, Jen
I cry every time I read about this. I have such a new realization of the whole adoption process after seeing it so closely. and my love for you and Jess grew right along with it!
Holy cow I thought I was done crying about this! This was so beautifully written and I am so glad you wrote it so that you will have it for years to come.
I have such a new respect for birth mothers and have been so proud of Jess with all of her hard decisions she has had to make. It was so good to have you guys here. We miss you so much. Ry just asked me when you were coming home. I told him you were home and he said, no to my home. Give all of your kids big hugs for us and tell them we love them all.
Thank you so much for sharing this experience! What a beautiful boy! All of you guys are so courageous and I know that your entire family will continue to be blessed by Jessica's decision to act in such a selfless way.
I can't imagine how hard this was for your family. I admire your grace, dignity and example as you've faced such a difficult trial.
Love you guys and miss you tons!!!!!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Steph! Such beautiful photos, and oh my goodness that boy is so stinkin cute! Love to you all! Isn't it true, adoption is all about love? So amazing! LOVE IT!
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